Journal

Each son taught me something very different ...

Katrine Granholm, creative director and mother of Topper, eight years, and Eddie, three years.

My first son, Topper, had colic as an infant, and that was a pretty bumpy start to my new life as a mother. He would cry for hours on end. I remember vividly sitting there, holding him tightly to give him some comfort, feeling that he was almost blaming me for his suffering. I think all women are a little bit irrational when they have just given birth, hormones rushing through the body plus all the obvious troubles adjusting to a completely new life. But, you can multiply that by a hundred if your child has colic. You are constantly sleep deprived, always afraid of doing something wrong, and everyone around you has great advice: the only problem is that they, themselves, have never had a child screaming from pain, 24 hours a day. You envy your friends when they get to be happy, sane parents of smiling babies, 

Fortunately, like all other kids, my son outgrew his colic – and, of course, I survived the first few months of no sleep and constant worrying. And, I remember reading somewhere that babies suffering from colic will grow up to have a strong sense of empathy because they have been held so much and were never left by themselves. That made me smile and feel that there was some sort of purpose after all. 

Nevertheless, the whole experience affected me deeply, and quite a few years went by before I had the courage to contemplate having another child. When Topper’s little brother Eddie came, our troubles as new parents were, well, normal troubles – no colic! And, I know, today, that this was actually a healing experience. We got “proof” that we were not bad parents, and that we never actually were. It was just a really tough start. In that sense, each son taught me something very different but equally valuable about being a mother.

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